Love among the arthropods*

£12.00

Love among the arthropods*

We have discovered that if you put a plastic octopus in your bath, it will scare away that great big hairy spider that mysteriously appears as if from nowhere, and grins at you every time you want to perform your ablutions. Chasing it down the plughole solves nothing. Mr Spider will retire to the overflow pipe - his home from home – and will peek out from time to time to snigger at your rude bits. Believe us this is exactly what happens. 

In an attempt to discourage said spider from entering this never ending cycle in the first place (we are not that keen on being sniggered at), and working on the plastic octopus principle, we decided to try the same trick using this brass lobster.

‘Lobster?’ We hear you cry, ‘That is no Lobster! Any fool knows that a lobster has a pair of rather nasty looking pincers at the front end.’ We are sorry to have to disabuse you, but this is in fact not so. The spiny or rock lobster is totally lacking in the claw department and so what you see in our photo must be one of these. It is a tasty item made of solid brass with a couple of things that might be rubies (but you and I know perfectly well that they are made of glass) for its eyes.

We can tell you are agog to know what happened next. Photo 2 tells all. The aforementioned spider has reappeared and gives all the signs of having fallen desperately and irrevocably in love. The two arthropods have become inseparable: hearts, cherubs and rose petals are hurtling around all over the place.

Does this mean that if you buy this delightful item, the lovelorn arachnid will hitch a ride and that you will get two for the price of one? Rest assured that this will not be the case… the lobster will wing its way to you quite alone and the spider will remain firmly in the bath doubtless muttering dire things about the fickleness of crustaceans.

* Ha! You thought we were going to tell you what an arthropod is – didn’t you? Well we are not. We think this is the sort of thing you ought to know, so if you don’t you will have to look it up for yourself.


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