RUDE THINGS

Objects without any virtue whatsoever..............for adults only...


Product Image Item Name+ Price
A Bottle Opener......

A Bottle Opener......

Why anyone would even think of making a bottle opener like this we have no idea… Very strange…. very strange indeed. She is cast iron, heavy, painted...
£15.50

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A carrot

A carrot

This carrot is not for sale.  One of us has eaten it.


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A little bowl....

A little bowl....

This is a bit special… Look at the handles – two naked girls…. diving maybe. The date on the base is 1979 …….. We think it might have once had a lid...
£8.00

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A mouse a mouse!

A mouse a mouse!

.......and the moral is………….. if you try to catch a mouse using a cloth ..... urine trouble   Excellent quality Victorian fairing – slightly...
£52.00

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A PEACH!

A PEACH!

If you can’t understand why we have put this in our rude things department then there is something seriously wrong with you and we suggest that you...
£32.00

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A rather fine bottle opener

A rather fine bottle opener

This  rather pleasing bottle-opener has been nicely rubbed in all the right places. 4 inches long Bra(le)ss
£10.00

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A Raunchy Little Cream Jug

A Raunchy Little Cream Jug

The iconography of this scrumptious little cream jug has got us baffled – yes – we who are normally the fount of all knowledge, the repository of...
£12.00

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A Scent Bottle

A Scent Bottle

Let’s not beat about the bush:  this heart-shaped scent bottle looks just like a bottom…. There we have said it. Where the stopper goes defies...
£15.00

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A torso

A torso

Functional or a work of art?  The choice is yours. Life size.Made of sort of plastic.Not in her first youth - a tad rubbed, scuffed and marked but...
£32.00

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A very rude ashtray

A very rude ashtray

She is saying "OH!" while he is saying "AH"  Turn it over to see why. This vile object is not at all proper on two counts: 1) It...
£25.00

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Bad Taste – Good Taste

Bad Taste – Good Taste

For those of you with scatophilic leanings we recommend this charming ash tray. And for you non-smokers we reckon that it can equally well serve as a...
£10.00

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Feeling horny?

Feeling horny?

Well tough.  You could fill this with whisky and down it in one – that might help.......... Alternatively you could distract yourself with a bit of...
£12.00

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GWR plaque

GWR plaque

No we are not going to spell out the text for you.  Look at the picture and read it for yourself.  Nor are we giving any guarantees as to the age of...
£5.00

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Hot and Strong

Hot and Strong

Ha! You thought we meant something else didn’t you? Sorry to disappoint.  But this mustard pot – or must-have pot – in faux (or possibly real)...
£7.00

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Household Physician

Household Physician

Of all the delightful books on offer in Cybergrot.com this is the perhaps the most MUST HAVE volume of all. Virtue’s Household Physician – a...
£24.00

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How baffling

How baffling

Yet another mystery of the universe This fairing (something that Victorians brought back from a fair) is particularly high quality.   The legend...
£52.00

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In the eye of the beholder...

In the eye of the beholder...

Salt ‘n Pepper shakers Oooooh we just LOVE these……. Suggestively pink and sensuously moulded……. these salt and pepper shakers are made out of...
£4.00

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Knitted cup cakes

Knitted cup cakes

£6.00

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Lighthouse trinket box

Lighthouse trinket box

Symbolism has always been one of our strong points….   Stands a paltry 5 inches high….    
£20.00

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Limoges Trinket Pot

Limoges Trinket Pot

Et bien!    Here is a naughty little pot……….. and we have some anxiety for the sanity of maker thereof………… It is a porcelain trinket box type thingy,...
£27.00

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Mmmmm .........nice ........toilet condiment set

Mmmmm .........nice ........toilet condiment set

What more mouth-watering addition to your dinner table could there be?  
£7.00

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Naked Lady Beer Mug

Naked Lady Beer Mug

Yes I know we have all seen these before but not one of this (poor) quality - hence the price.  Inscribed on the bottom (its, not hers) are the words...
£10.00

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Naked Lady corkscrew-bottle opener

Naked Lady corkscrew-bottle opener

Multi-tasking or what?  1) She opens beer 2) She uncorks wine 3) She fits into a Christmas stocking and makes a male or lesbian very happy. What...
£12.00

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Nice Shell

Nice Shell

Nice Shell, shame about the shape. 9 cm long
£7.00

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Not quite a Venus Pudica

Not quite a Venus Pudica

Strictly speaking, as any fool knows, a ‘ Venus Pudica’ * has one hand attempting to cover her top naughty bits and the other hand not quite...
£9.00

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Nut-crackers

Nut-crackers

Rubbed velvety smooth by generations of fondling – these delightful nutcrackers (don’t wince – that’s what they are) – will make an old man very...
£13.00

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Screw Loo se

Screw Loo se

  It’s scrap – fit for the Cistern chapel. About 8½ inches high


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Screw-on Naked Lady

Screw-on Naked Lady

Talk about retro – 1950s here we come.  Yesssss it’s a screw-on naked lady……. Hmmmmmmmmm.    We challenge all you naked ladies out there to prove...
£10.00

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Shape a Cake

Shape a Cake

An exciting baking accessory for making fun party cakes. Imagine this if you will.  You invite – say – 20 friends round for a convivial party and...
£11.00

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Two Rude Coat Hangers

Two Rude Coat Hangers

What have we to say about these? Nothing!  Nothing at all. (Except that they are made of glorious plastic and are not new)
£16.00

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Two Rude Egg Cups

Two Rude Egg Cups

The female is both decorative and functional and provides the perfect receptacle for an egg….. Re eggs we cannot begin to tell you how useless the...
£8.00

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WOW!

WOW!

This almost obscenely sensuous bowl is a joy to hold and behold.  This is art glass at its most suggestive… We are sorry to say that the purchaser...
£33.00

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